As an Obliger you are the best at supporting others. You are constantly helping people with their needs and wants.
Your heart is full of kindness and generosity. Your willingness to help others unconditionally makes you a woman that others always count on.
Due to your continuous support of others although, you unknowingly at times, forget to care for yourself! You are more than not, left with little time to exercise or listen to what your body needs. This can create resentment, lack of identity, mental fatigue and total dissatisfaction with life in general.
These things cause a major stress response in the body. This stress response automatically turns on your fight, flight, freeze. Which means you turn off your rest and digest. This leads to your body shutting off your Fat-Burning and also causes major gut issues. All this will directly affect emotions as well. So you end up chasing your tail. A Merry-go-round of unhealthy habits. Remember health is far beyond what you eat and how much you move.
You lose touch with your body because you are always trying to please others. You want to listen to your body because as an obliger you want to please yourself too. But you will still put yourself aside to help others. This is something that has been programmed in you for a very long time. It has become part of your belief system. So it won't be hard to kick. It’s possible although, with some coaching and consistent daily action steps.
You have lost touch with what your body needs and will just go with the flow. Basing your needs on whatever others want so as not to stand out or seem like you’re not “obliging”. You will go with the flow even if it means moving and eating in a way that doesn't serve you.
The Obliger's nutrition is usually whatever everyone else is eating or is an after-thought when others have been taken care of. Your definition of self-care is caring for others. It feels good at the time and something we should always be doing, but never at the expense of your own health.
You end up consuming your time personally and professionally helping others and that leaves very little time for you to exercise and move. You know you need it but just can't get it in. This all leads to self-dissatisfaction and resentment. Vicious cycle! You choose workouts based on others and the results they get, and are confused when you don't see results. You are more than likely a negative self-talker. Treating your body in a destructive way. Again turning the stress response on full-tilt.
Your food choices are usually out of convenience or others choices which leads to inflammation, digestive issues and weight-gain. You often aren't listening to your body when it comes to how your body responds to food.
You more than likely hold unwanted fat around your waist, hips and arms. This can be from high cortisol levels or insulin resistance or both. You are also probably not getting great quality sleep. This is from being tormented between needing to help others and wanting to help yourself. A busy mind never rests. Sleep is crucial to healthy body composition. When you lack sleep you decrease the hormone leptin (appetite suppressing hormone produced from fat cells) and increases ghrelin (hormone released by the stomach) When these are off due to sleep, your body will think you want and need more food than you do. It will also causes cravings.
Besides those hormones causing hunger, you will also create major sugar cravings due to lack of pleasure and satisfaction in your own body. Helping others feels great but never do it so much that you don't matter anymore. It is a Fat-Burning killer!
In order to create a body that Burns fat as an Obliger, start following these steps and watch your body change:
Start a food journal. Write down every meal, when you ate, how you felt before and after. Also ask yourself is what you ate what you really wanted. This is a great way to start creating intuitive eating and body wisdom.
To reduce inflammation start increasing your Omega 3 fats dramatically! Also eat foods high in antioxidants and I highly recommend a B-complex plus some adaptogens.
Working out will come much easier once you see your value and start making time for you! Say no more often. Obliger's say yes to things they don’t need to. Clear up your time by letting go of always saying yes!
I suggest doing your workouts first thing in the morning or at night. This way you can get it in before others start asking you for things or when the day is ended and you are more likely to be free. Starting your day with exercise and or stretching will create amazing feelings of accomplishment and confidence.
Take time throughout the day to slow down. Ask yourself how you are feeling. What do you need? Checking in with yourself will also help with creating that body wisdom you need.
Avoid eating after 7pm. Once you start dealing with your emotions and thoughts this gets easier. Eating too close to when you go to sleep can be very disruptive to the digestive system and ruins sleeping patterns.
Turn off all electronics about 1 hour before bed. Take time to do some reading and journaling. What are you grateful for from your day? What are your intentions for the next day? What affirmations will help you with a positive outlook?