Why You Aren't Getting The Results You Want Even When You Feel LIke You Are Doing All The Things!

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How frustrating is it when you are eating well and doing a ton of exercise and the result is zilch?!

I remember a couple of years ago when I was Chronic Dieter Carmen, I had to go down to 1000 calories and do more exercise so I could get on stage and have people tell me my body wasn't as good as someone elses.  How nuts is that, when you think about it.

I restricted calories, carbs, fat and worked out twice a day, sometimes 3 just to get a look.  One that I couldn't sustain because it was too restrictive. Funny thing is I know my set point, that point when you are eating healthy and working out and you feel amazing!  But as a chronic Dieter and fitness competitor, I have to push past this. But most women do this anyways in some form just to get a look. To lose weight and look fit or skinny and they really don't know why they want it so bad.

They think it is because of health but if it was, they wouldn't be doing it through diet and too much exercise.  They do it because they think a LOOK is going to make them FEEL better.

What I found out 2 years ago (and so glad I did) is you need to aim for a FEELING and the LOOK will follow.  It may not come as quick but what this process has taught me is patience with my body and myself in general.

It helped me look at my body like a relationship not a problem!

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I now know what my body needs, what it doesn't and how to help her so she thrives.  I don't do diets and restrict foods because some doctor or trainer told me my body doesn't need carbs or that food is bad for you and this food you need to eat a ton of.  For instance, coconut oil became the new wonder fat. So like everyone else I jumped on the band wagon. I was walking around with hives and itching for almost a year thinking I was allergic to my dog.  And Lord knows I am not getting rid of my dog! ;)

After actually figuring out my formula to the body I want, I realized it was coconut that I was reacting too.  And badly. I felt terrible when I ate it but assumed it was something else because It can't be coconut, it is good for you! PUH!  

The moral of the story is, YOUR BODY IS THE ONLY AUTHORITY YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO!  What one person's superfood is will not be another persons. You have to go with what your body needs and it will tell you.  We just need to start listening. We need to LEARN how to listen.

Here are three tips to start being more intuitive:

  1. Start a food journal.  Not a diet plan just relax and eat what you think you want and journal.  Pay attention to how you feel before and after. When you are eating and when you aren't.  Why you are eating. How you are eating. (are you on the go, eating out, watching TV?)

  2. Ask yourself why you want to get healthy. Why do you want to lose weight?  What are your desired outcomes and what is the value in that.

  3. When it comes to movement, what is it you really like.  Not what you think you need to do but what you like. Some of my clients need to keep moving because it is their personalty.  Rest is needed so instead of forcing them to do something they don't like, I create movement plans that get them to rest but they don't know they are!  You can make your movement plans work for you if you learn how.

It is possible to have the body you want by following a feeling and knowing your true reason for wanting it.  9 times out of 10 it is far beyond what you think. You need to see value in your journey. And I can tell you right now, by developing a relationship with your body, you LEARN so much you will wonder why you waited.

The diet and convenience culture full of fad diets, apps, watches, websites etc have been telling us what we need for years.  We think this is great but we lose touch with our bodies doing this. Technology not only has us talking to people via text messaging and email, it has us talking to ourselves like our female goddess inside doesn't matter!  

LADIES YOU MATTER! YOUR BODY IS YOUR GODDESS!  Treat her like the goddess she is and start seeing results you didn't even know you could get!  

If you want to start finding your Formula and learn how to relate to your female goddess and get off the diet roller coaster then click here!  Get started in 2019 on the right foot and stay on it!  I want to teach women how to be their own coaches! The Wellness Formula is a great way to learn and go at your own pace and is really nice on your pocket book too!

If you aren't sure what you need and a bit scared to trust yourself then let's talk!  I offer FREE Healthy Living Discovery Calls so you can find out what is holding you back or stopping you from getting what you want!  Click here to book a call and dive in knowing what you actually should be doing!  Sometimes you need a bit more love in order to get where you need to go!

I hope to hear from you and look forward to seeing you in January in my group!

To your health,

Carmen Shawn

Mindset is everything!

Beauty is your birthright!

Each image of me represents who I am. Clothes off, workout clothes on, dressed up and with or without make-up.

A former colleague of mine posted something yesterday that has been on mind as well. I have seen a shift, in my life, when it comes to women supporting women because I surround myself with it. I have joined women's groups, reconnected with women from my past that I love and nourish my heart and soul, I volunteer for women's groups and most of all I do my best daily to help lift women up.

The problem is I see a lot of the opposite outside of my life. I am a firm believer, something that is ingrained in my personality, to help those outside of where I live my life.

So I hope this gets to as many women as possible and they start taking ownership and accountability from with-in. That is the key to happiness and living a healthy life! Remember health is not how you look it is how you feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually besides physically.

When we see a post of a woman showing herself like my middle picture, we should not degrade her or make her feel bad about who she is for doing so. You think by saying “you are beautiful on the inside you don't need to post pics like this to be liked" is helping her but what it is doing is making her feel worse. You may think that the statement or your 2 cents is coming from a good place, but what it is more…. it bothers you. It is something you feel uncomfortable with and therefore you project your opinion onto others. If you don't agree don't comment. And if you see see something that bothers you, stop and ask yourself why. It isn't about the person you see it is about you. It is something you have growing inside you that makes you see what you see.

As a NLP Practitioner, I see more and more this difference of thinking. This is due to our MAP, our programming. Our programming throughout our lives has created our beliefs. We are told this is wrong, this is bad and this is right, this is good! So in your head that is law. But it isn't law to someone else. We all do things and post things with our beliefs in mind. Some good, some bad. I firmly believe as we go through life and really want to get rid of our old story and create a new, we can change our beliefs. Nothing from your past has to be in the chapters of your present story or future story. And when you step into your light, the messages you give to world will change.

Keep in mind when you are dealing with others around you, we all take in information differently. Think of being in a course or workshop, the instructor will give you a ton of information. You take that information and you distort, delete and generalize to fit your belief system. Your unconscious mind’s way of protecting you, so it thinks. So you may notice if you are put into groups and have to do an exercise that one or two people see something different. Instead of saying they are wrong, listen to their view point and step into that. You may never fully understand but by doing so you open the door to other views and ways of thinking that doesn't make others feel like an outcast.

If you are a Health and Fitness Professional keep posting based on a strong vision you have for your clients. Make sure everything is coming from a place of compassion and curiosity not a militant authority. To me that is just throwing your weight around and trying to be a big dog. Trust me, that only goes so far.

Our bodies are amazing in every way! In every shape!

Our self-judgement is what stops us from doing and being who we truly are. It is why we suppress our greatness. It is why we project our beliefs on others.

When I meet people they see me and say “do you workout? You look fit.” “You have such strong legs" “You look like you are in great shape.”

Guess what? I have my clothes on. They don't know what is under my clothes. To them I’m fit and in good shape. And even if they didn't say that, I'm not going to strip down to my undies to show them either way. We are so hard on ourselves about our looks but never stop and think that others see us differently. We can't even take a compliment anymore without saying something negative. “wow you are in great shape" “oh ya well I use to compete and this is the heaviest I have ever weighed but I am trying to lose weight” They aren’t thinking anything but what they said but because we feel uneasy in our skin we have to explain ourselves so they know we know what we think they mean. Did you get all that? Just SAY THANKS! Take the compliment and feel good about it!

The bottom line is they can only determine our character by how we speak to them. How we treat them and others around us. They go by personality and body language. They will characterize us based on whether we are a happy person, sad person or angry person. So whether you post pictures of yourself in workout clothes. in your boy shorts with no make-up or dressed up with make-up, we are the same person. Our core doesn't change.

When I work with my clients one of the largest components I focus on is self-worth. I want women to realize no matter what they are good enough. You don't need to do anything for validation, for approval. You don't need to NOT do something because you are afraid of what others think or that they may not like you.

In order to start living a truly healthy life, you must first let go of judgement. Towards yourself and others. If you find yourself going there, stop and ask why? Be curious and show compassion (mostly towards yourself, because if you can do that you can do it for others)

We are so hard on ourselves that we end up using PUNISHING strategies to eating and exercise. It also makes us miserable. So in turn that projects out. It can come in anger or sadness. It can come in rebellion or being overly pristine, afraid to do anything.

Have no fear of perfection - you’ll never reach it.
— Salvador Dali

When working with clients as a Holistic Living Coach, I find their biggest obstacle is trying to be perfect. They steer off course and then judge themselves into a pint of ice cream and a bag of Doritos with a side of french fries! There is NO PERFECT JOURNEY! We can't strive for perfection in an imperfect world.

So my motto is:

“I don't judge you ever! You won't judge you ever! We approach everything with compassion and curiosity

One thing I would love for you to try tonight when you go to bed. Lay still, close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths in and get connected to your breath. Now step out of your body. Float above so you can see yourself. Go back and see what you have accomplished, things you have overcome, challenges and tragedies you had to endure. You are here today! You survived ! Now consider this, should you still be so hard on yourself? Life is a hard road to travel. There is no handbook. Sometimes you don’t know if something is the right way or wrong way until it's already done.

When you open our eyes, realize you have done the best you can with what you have. Your old story does not define you! BUT you also need to step out of victim mode and become accountable. You are still living your old story because you choose to. Your old story can make you a victim. And you are not a victim! STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT!

The old story may seem long and painful but it boils down to one thing. It isn't easy to see sometimes but with some helpful guidance and tips you can discover what that is.

I am doing a FREE Masterclass next Thursday December 13th at 6:30 pm. It is called BREAKING BAD…. (habits). Click on the image below to reserve your spot!

If you feel you are chasing your tail, stuck in your ways and it's projecting onto others, have bad habits that are keeping you stuck or just want to help keep some new healthy habits you started stick, then please join me! I would love to chat to you more about how to shorten your old story, create a new one, and how to make new positive habits stick around!

The Hunger Game: Learn How To Play

To play the hunger game and win, you need to learn how to tell the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger.

But first, why is emotional hunger versus physical hunger important and what’s the difference?

Emotional hunger means you turn to food either to avoid uncomfortable emotions or to heighten pleasurable ones. It means you eat based on how you feel instead of what your body needs.

Examples of emotional hunger (FEELINGS):

  • Eating for comfort or out of loneliness or sadness

  • Eating from boredom

  • Eating to try to soothe anxious or depressed feelings

  • Eating to fill an aching heart

Whereas physical hunger means you eat when your body signals to you that you are in fact, hungry. And it means that you stop eating when you are satisfied and before you are uncomfortably full.

Examples of physical hunger (SENSATIONS):

  • Stomach growls and gets that hollow hungry sensation

  • Body feels weak and energy goes down

  • Blood sugar gets low and you feel shaky

  • You feel lightheaded or faint

So learning to listen to your body is crucial and here is why:

It will free you from being a slave to food!

What that means for you is that you’ll feel more in control of your eating and less dependent on food to “help” your moods and emotions.

By listening to your physical hunger signals, you can determine how hungry or full you really are. With practice, you’ll be able to pinpoint where your body is at any given moment.

By doing so, you will train yourself to stop eating BEFORE you are too full and to not turn to food when you are not actually hungry but are in fact bored, upset, anxious or depressed.

Because everyone knows that’s a vicious cycle… so let me show you how to end that cycle and have some fun while doing it! Enter… the Hunger Game!

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How do I play the Hunger Game?

Let me first clarify that I’m not talking about undergoing top-secret weapons training to learn to “kill” off your colleagues or friends… I’m talking about a simple, helpful game that you can play all by yourself even in a busy restaurant!

Here’s how you play the Hunger Game:

  • See if you can be the slowest eater at the table — no one has to know you’re playing or that you’re trying to win the Hunger Game

  • Periodically check in with yourself throughout your meal and honor when you’re energized and satiated by completing the meal

  • Use an end-of-meal ritual, like putting your napkin over your plate or ordering hot tea and fresh fruit to symbolize completion of the meal

What can I do now to create a healthy lifestyle?

In my health coaching practice, I help my clients learn to tell the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Together, we come up with a plan to help you keep identifying the difference so you can lose weight naturally and double your energy.

If you think you may be engaging in emotional eating and you don’t know how to change it, then click here now to schedule a time to talk with me today.

To your health!

Carmen